OMG! Like, So True!

KRESS Me Up, Kress Me Down

2008-07-07T18:29:00.001-07:00

Sexy Italian Peacock!

KRESS The Technique - Wild Creatures

2008-07-07T18:28:00.001-07:00

Clearly sober children. Charmingly so.

For Amy Kathryn... Me & Audrina at NYLON

2008-06-12T04:02:00.001-07:00

NYLON / Myspace School of Rock party last week.

This shirt has been missing since a very, very interesting night, early september, 2006. Miss it... miss you.

Mehdi Tearing s* up at the Anniversary Party

2008-05-10T06:10:00.001-07:00

Hook Shot Fade Away

2008-05-10T06:09:00.003-07:00

Mark and Steve

Dim Mak + Ed Banger Anniversary

2008-05-10T06:09:00.001-07:00

Sarah Morrison and me haha... "OMG! Toasty you talk faster than i do! I think I finally found someone who can keep up!"

Mad Mondays at The Standard with Tina T and Rony

2008-05-10T06:08:00.001-07:00

Dim Mak + Ed Banger Anniversary

2008-05-10T06:07:00.001-07:00

Mehdi passing out, Sébastian and his girl kicking it at the Dim Mak + Ed Banger anniversary after-afterparty.

Soo Sweet Altamont 1986

2008-04-28T01:40:00.001-07:00

Aww. Freaky Friday

Have A Smile

2008-04-28T01:39:00.003-07:00

tragic. Blah.

Stolen Girl

2008-04-28T01:39:00.001-07:00

Master Blaster

2008-03-08T03:45:00.001-08:00

Shine On Crazy Diamonds

2008-01-06T02:48:00.001-08:00

Duh.

ps if you're wondering why I'm not here anymore, ask. I'm somewhere else.

And Justice For All

2008-01-06T02:47:00.001-08:00

Shut Up And Drive

2007-12-09T14:33:00.001-08:00

Back in the lab

Fool's Gold Ice

2007-11-24T10:49:00.001-08:00

A-Trak Tearin Shit Up

2007-11-24T10:48:00.001-08:00

Damn Girl, Don't Hurt Um! - Kid Sister & A-Trak

2007-11-24T10:46:00.001-08:00

Nylicious

2007-10-30T14:02:00.001-07:00

green door with anna and cory. :)

Sexy Tripod

2007-10-18T17:05:00.001-07:00

Coolest kids in all the land.

Two Heathers

2007-10-16T03:20:00.001-07:00

Heatherette show for Mercedes Benz Fashion Week with Cory. By Mark Hunter.

Shut Up & Ride

2007-09-25T00:16:00.001-07:00

Mackenzie floating over hollywood. I hate manipulation haha.

View From The Top

2007-09-20T20:46:00.003-07:00

The Girl Next Door

2007-09-20T20:46:00.001-07:00

She's PurrPurrfect!

2007-09-20T20:45:00.001-07:00

A Little Marc, a little Jurgen.

2007-09-20T20:43:00.001-07:00

Little Black Dress

2007-09-20T20:42:00.001-07:00

A lil like lindsey but without the amphetamines. Fun on the Buckaroo Banzai Ranch.

Beluga Wild Divas

2007-09-07T06:39:00.001-07:00

Stacy & MLO. Tragic little lovable creatures... And Mackenzie in Orange of course.

Ready To Uff!

2007-08-30T02:01:00.001-07:00

I have so many pictures I haven't posted! If you've stayed around
this long, thanks - more to come soon, i promise!

Summer Valentine

2007-08-12T14:44:00.001-07:00

(from taylor... kinda amazing).

Explosions In The Sky

2007-08-11T05:30:00.001-07:00

Portrait of a friend.

2007-08-11T04:41:00.001-07:00

A little better of than when you found me.

Delicious Sprinkles

2007-06-24T23:36:00.003-07:00

Lips With Diamond Star Dust

2007-06-24T23:36:00.001-07:00

Three. Simple. Words.

2007-06-21T05:40:00.001-07:00

It's the longest day of the year.
It's 5:33am and the sun has been up for half an hour.
And I haven't slept.
And I have work in less than three hours.

And I'm restless.
And i can only think of three. simple. words.

You know, they say how you spend new years eve is how you'll spend the rest of you year. So make it good.

Finding My Way

2007-06-19T12:40:00.001-07:00

Los Angeles vs Paris

2007-06-17T00:28:00.001-07:00

Cruel Intentions

2007-06-14T04:03:00.000-07:00

Much love. Jennifer's birthday bash.

Well I know this sounds corny, but whenever I feel the temptation of peer pressure, I turn to God and he helps me through the problem. -- Kathryn Merteuil, Cruel Intentions

Castles In The Sand

2007-06-10T21:39:00.005-07:00

So rich! So Pretty! <3 <3 <3 Jennifer!

Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls

2007-06-10T21:39:00.003-07:00

Bending Spoons With My Mind

2007-06-10T21:39:00.001-07:00

Kicking Back

2007-05-31T07:15:00.001-07:00

My fresh Haring Adicolors by Jeremy Scott. I've got prints laying around like the louvre and it was by chance that this one was in the background.

Lily Alan Filter Wrapping

2007-05-30T20:44:00.001-07:00

My birthday gift from lissliss! <3 Such a sweetheart!

Periodically Sporadic

2007-05-30T20:40:00.001-07:00

Pinche Rio.

2007-05-30T00:01:00.001-07:00

Rock. Stars.

2007-05-14T01:47:00.001-07:00

A LAX Sunday afternoon.

2007-04-29T18:06:00.001-07:00

U know who u are...

Something Special

2007-03-26T04:34:00.001-07:00

Time To Let Go

2007-02-23T03:36:00.001-08:00

August 5, 2003 - February 22, 2007

To say that it hasn't really set in is a lil inaccurate... i think it's been setting in for a while now, but the really hard part is the, "so what's next?" It's been the shortest four years - tonight i felt like i was sitting at home, watching marissa cooper step out onto the curb to meet ryan for the first time. Four years of memories flash through my mind in a instant - i can picture virtually every episode, where i was for each, who i was with... and that's hard. i'm thinking of taylor townsend's graduation speech... i'm thinking of g one. I'm thinking of a fragile fountain...

I Love You Til The End.

2007-02-21T08:48:00.001-08:00

I don't think there's anything I can say that I haven't said before.

EYEcon

2007-01-23T13:37:00.001-08:00

My Life In Rose

2007-01-02T12:48:00.001-08:00

Christmas In Heaven

2006-12-25T17:06:00.001-08:00

Christmas in Los Angeles. About 78 degrees, blue skies, fresh air... I had never been on a rollercoaster in my entire life - maybe I'll add a never have I ever list to this a lil later - so yesterday i went to Magic Mountain with one of my best friends. We tried this in August but after spending an hour waiting in line to buy tickets to get into the park, we decided we should just get trashed at 11am and sneak into the freshman cafeteria at USC. So we decided Christmas Eve was the right time and we were not going to give up. No lines, no 112 degree Santa Clarita heat, no gangsters thugging out and stabbing people... just enough people to make the park exciting, a lot of sweet, sweet cheeks to make it worth while, and some of the most ridiculous roller coasters ever conceived! I've always lived by the theory, if I have to be a bear, I'm gonna be a grizzly, and so my first roller coaster experience ever was Tatsu,, the latest, greatest, most fear-inducing ride around.

So here's the thing, and my friend said it first, but if you've ever driven with me behind the wheel, flying through the air in one of these monstrosities is just another day. We hit every ride in Magic Mountain in about three hours - it was a fucking awesome Xmas, but seriously when we were on Superman we were like, "what the fuck are we doing? Backing into a parking space on 30th Street?"

It's always the ones we love that peace out around Christmas... James Brown will be with us forever though.
Be thankful, he's given us generations of music and an style.

Aime moi, fesse moi, attache moi. Merry Christmas!

In Love With The World, Through The Eyes Of A Girl...

2006-12-24T00:36:00.001-08:00

A few things lost, a few things found... I lost my car, my father, some friends, some freedom. A lil dignity and a few el-bees, too much and never enough. Some innocence and some youth, but those we'll never get back (I read an article that said something to the effect of, "once we get older that door behind us doesn't just close, it disappears." A bit trite, but incredibly, painfully true). A lil bit of happiness but that comes and goes, and Mischa, which was hard at first but god do i love Caitlin Cooper!

I gained my own Caitlin Cooper, with the same pretty smile but with totally bigger boobs. I gained a lil hope and maybe a little confidence - professional and personal. I gained some amazing new friends and some unbelievable experiences, but nothing's ever as it seems and I really do not want to be a young James Frey so I'll do my best to not relive any of that. A few secrets... I love secrets! Some fans whom foolishly, but adorably think I'm a rockstar.

The closest thing to religion that I have is fortune cookies. When they're not terrible and generic they're inspiring and eerily precise (even if only because I'm making them so). There's something about their fragile simplicity in that Felix Gonzalez-Torres way... The day before thanksgiving I removed every trace of me from my altima - it was like dismantling an atomic bomb, full of blood and tears and memories and stories and booze and all sorts of residues of things. And after i was certain i had removed every bit of myself from the car I came upon this tiny declaration. I remember originally finding it inside of a chocolate fortune cookie that was given to me in a strange alley in San Francisco's Chinatown where people line up to buy fortune cookies. I don't stand in lines.

Happy New Year. I hope everyone gets to spend it with someone they love.

It's My Dick In A Box!

2006-12-21T01:15:00.000-08:00

If you wanna see the Before pictures of my Sunday night, you can check out the cobra snake... fortunately there are no After photos, but if you know me you can only imagine. The three funniest things said about me in the seventy two hours are:

Nigga! You ain't no fuckin' mexican! You ain't no mo' fuckin' mexican than you is a nigga!

{in your most surprised but diffident voice} Steve, you're a handful when you drink!

Dude! You're hot! Be the Colin Firth, or the Hugh Grant, or that cute little kid! Don't be the sad guy crying about Keira!

To me, christmas never meant anything before Hilary Duff's Santa Claus Lane, and LOVE Actually. I put together a nouveau christmas mix this year for some friends, so if you want it, you know where to find me! Otherwise, enjoy the holiday, whatever it means to you... to me it means roller coasters and missing loved ones. Cheers!

So Fucking PunkRock

2006-12-12T19:24:00.000-08:00

Stithalicious. So rich, so pretty.... so hot! haha

Good Girls Do It With Passion

2006-12-12T12:34:00.000-08:00

American Beauty

2006-12-05T22:34:00.000-08:00

Mackenzie Rocks

2006-11-28T02:24:00.000-08:00

No No No...Notorious! Weirdo.

Banana In The Tailpipe

2006-11-28T02:21:00.000-08:00

man, i can't believe it's finally gone.

My hands are too cold to type. No, that's not metaphor. It feels like the end of an era... like a lost a friend (and in true fashion, on my own terms, quietly and stoically, but with a too familiar acerbic burn). Cliches fall from the sky when speaking of a car in los angeles, but I feel the relationship i had was special, more than most, and certainly unique. Spinouts at ninety five mph, an unforgettable race through downtown in morning rush-hour complete with a kid banging a kitchen pot on his head in the backseat, and the assertion that i knew what I was doing and that I would never hurt you in the front. Cold, sleepless nights, coldplay's Scientist (more than you think... ), hiding under some bridges and skating across others... burning many (bridges, corners, red lights, sometimes in the same thought), but always as a hulking engine of acrimony. From Hollywood Lanes to the Hollywood Bowl to speeding down a crowded sidewalk in front of the pigs on Hollywood Blvd, we had some good times. And some bad, but those always fade with time.

Never endearingly named, it was above anthropomorphism, it was deified The Passion of the Altima. And was thusly forsaken. But with love, not animosity. It's last ride will always remain special, it's victory lap - The Killers, with Anna. So much fun. The end of an era.

Goodnight. You will be missed.

It's Like, Yeah Motherfucker!

2006-11-13T13:09:00.000-08:00

It's ridiculous how everyone in l.a. knows each other. I bump into someone i haven't seen for years walking through culver city in the middle of the night, then two days later see him on my internet it girl's weblog chowing with some other friends I've met around the city and had no idea knew each other! It's pretty cool... i guess they're all jewish, so there's that.

So my room hasn't looked like this forever, but it's a fun pic. Keith Haring, Robbie Conal, BEBE Bus Stop Poster, THE OC Season 2 Premiere poster (that was an incredible story for another time!)... A Power Mac G5 (connected to a La Cie Electron 22 and a Sony WEGA monitor), Macintosh II SI, Macintosh SE/30, and just out of frame a Powerbook Pismo and a Powerbook G4 (now a Mac Book Pro Core 2 Duo).... some polaroids, and of course Teagan.

I love Teagan. She reminds me a lil of my good friend, and of a young un-white-trash Britney Spears. As for the reflection not matching the television, well that's just how I roll! It's funny how time unravels things. Who would have thought that only a few years after American Pie - kinda the start of something new for me and for a lot of people i know - Allison Hannigan would be retarded sexy and Tara Reid would be a deformed cunt!?

2 Live Crew tomorrow night at Cinespace! Be there!

Get Ya Sexy On!

2006-11-08T15:39:00.000-08:00

Giving up is the easiest thing in the world to do... You can move on, but if you're lucky some day you'll have a second chance at loving again...

This week is amazing! First, Britney drops her whitetrash homo husband, a few dress sizes, and even a lil bit of her retarded southern twang! That one is kinda personal for me... i remember dancing with Britney (well, next to her anyway!) at Josephs back when Brent Bolthouse used to do Monday night there. It was right before she got married, she was on the decline and everything in my life was pretty sketchy too. Things are looking up though, for both of us!

Democrats. Suck my fucking cock Donald Rumsfeld. He'll be getting a seven figure paycheck from some military contractor by the end of the week, but it's a victory of principle... and a great compliment to the true victory in the House! Again, it takes me back to 1996. I remember the Republicans taking the majority and wondering what that would mean for the country. My political ideology was not as strong as it is now, but i was big Clinton supporter and I felt like things were taking a turn away from progress. Also a very formative time in my life... for a lot of reasons. There are certain milestones in my life that defined who I am right now, some good things, a lot of bad. I made some decisions at that time in my life that brought me where I am right now, which is a good thing i think. But a lot of bad ones, and a lot that would have made me a very different person. No regrets, but I just wonder how things would be now if I had chosen differently in high school. That book really opened in eighth grade, in front of the gym with a cute girl named monica and a lot of peer pressure... i hope that it burns to ashes in a wamr fireplace very soon.

And of course... THE OC is fucking back! It's back and I'm soooo excited! Last week's episode wasn't amazing... this week's is! Steve-O as a coked our drunk marine, Seth's tattoo, Ryan doesn't completely fag out, Summer shaves her birkenlegs and hopefully kicks the stoner to the curb k-fed style. Autumn Reeser is sooooo fly! i love her. LOVE! HER! And Willa... Caitlin Cooper is my everything! LOVE! Mischa is soooo dunzo in my heart and in my life! Fuck! She was everything wrong with the third season... The handjob dudes she attracted, the retarded drama, everything. Laters sweetie!

Etceteras.... i just found the first girl i ever had a crush on in the entire world. Re-dick.

Trick & Treat

2006-11-04T03:51:00.000-08:00

Something Like a Shopgirl

2006-10-16T13:48:00.000-07:00

Mr. Brightside...

2006-10-07T03:59:00.000-07:00

Awww! We were the coolest kids on the block, and nobody else started the night with Lobster tail, filet mignon tacos & coconut shrimp! haha. Oh yeah, and Sofia Coppola Sparkling Minis! Sooo yum! Best night ever! Sooo much fun!

I LOVE

2006-10-05T18:57:00.000-07:00

I love a lot... i love model behaviour. I love slutty red shoes and I love sans serif. Shiny sequins and sometimes soft blue... I love reflections and glass and bitches with class and bitches in class and classicism, and classics too. Mehtastophyses.

Little Black Things

2006-10-05T18:45:00.000-07:00

Something's Up!

2006-10-02T19:21:00.000-07:00

I love fortune cookies and soft white sheets. true.

Cheerleader Panty Upskirts From Paris!

2006-09-28T02:53:00.000-07:00

Man I love this broad! Serious. This is her new video, NOTHING IN THIS WORLD with a knockoff Emile Hirsch and a sexy, sexy Paris. Postscript, Alpha Dog was moved back to January 12, 2007! Gay!

Under The Sea 4Ever!

2006-09-26T16:24:00.000-07:00

Toasty what????? YOu are so cute. I love you and yes!!!!! I 'm a comin wednesday Love you Sweetie Yay!

So how amazing was Desperate Housewives this week, seriously?! Bree was getting her klondike bar creamed and loving it! I think she's officially the foxiest piece of ass on the block - so hot! And I totally thought Greys Anatomy was the new Ally McBeal so imagine my surprise when I saw Calista Flockhart's beautiful glistening smile (she may have the best overbite in hollywood!) light up the screen in Brothers & Sisters! I think I'm totally in love with this show... which is good since I'm sooo fucking over Laguna Beach and The OC! Willa is amazing (yeah Jennie, the real one too!) but I still miss my Marissa! even more now that Mischa has become Fraggle Olsen. Whatevs. Veronica Mars is back next week, so if you need me you know where I'll be tuesday night... (I hope... right girls?!)

Smooch!

Sometimes I Rhyme Slow

2006-09-26T09:47:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Mary! This is my favorite you don't have it / club remix of the hot single off the new Killers album, so in honour of one lil girl becoming a lady, and another young lady who likes the killers and wishes she was back in high school, here's a song that I'm pretty sure is really about The Lord.

When You Were Young (Jacque LuCont White Thin Duke Mix). x o x o

OMG! We're Just Normal People!

2006-09-23T18:13:00.000-07:00

Haha! that's never true! I just added Cory to my links at the bottom! Her blog is probably the best thing you've read since A House On Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros... Oh, and I would have probably gone to the Teen Vogue party with her and ended up at the after party with Paris and Lindsey but I was helping out a friend (you know who you are) instead... and I guess I wouldn't have it any other way. Awww! See?! I can be a good lil steazie!

Cory's Blog is awesome.

Update: Ha! So Best Wee Ever doesn't love Cory as much as the royal we does. Haters love to hate though... Me? I just krush a lot. (Cory @ BWE)

Sexy Coif & You Love It

2006-09-22T00:25:00.000-07:00

I sketched this a while ago... it's probably smaller than a business card but I just found it and it's kinda cute.

Hi Sexy!

2006-09-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

Hi sexy. For the record, we're still probably the coolest people you'll ever meet in you're fucking life, PS! I know you're reading, so best friends forever, seriously! K-I-T and how much fucking fun is halloween gonna be?! Loves ya!

Echo Love Echo!

2006-09-11T21:18:00.000-07:00

Echo park kicks ass.

Sooo Many Boys Are Fallout Boys!

2006-09-11T04:47:00.000-07:00

This picture is dedicated to the tragedy of 9/11 - namely that Mackenzie's ID was tore apart @ El Carmen last night / this morning! Haven't enough suffered already?! Haters be hatin!

The Good Times, The Grates Times.

2006-09-07T18:14:00.000-07:00

So i haven't had anything interesting to say lately. my bad... Lots of photos, some exciting stuff here and there, but not so many homo-e stories of OC sentimentality or unwillingness to except that the past has passed. It's as if this summer never really happened... Until a few days ago I was waiting for something, that first thing to set it off, but it's september so it's a lil late for that. I imagine somewhere sometime soon leaves will be coming to life with colour, I hope i don't fall too far.

So Shiny I Can See My Face In Them

2006-08-29T05:02:00.000-07:00

Werd Nerd, Roll a Range Range!

2006-08-22T03:29:00.000-07:00

Slow day... Jennie's leaving and I'm not happy! Stacy and I rollin' deep in M Wade's re-dick Range! What you do see: My amazing one hand camera technique. What you don't see: MLO being fabulous a lil adjacent to us, Jennie and M Wade being adorable up front... and a bowl of limes. Sliced. Thanks!

Miss Kittin Fairchild the Tween

2006-08-21T07:14:00.000-07:00

Hiii!

So Stacy and I, we went to Northridge yesterday... No, not for the good friends, good food, and good laughs (we went to Olive Garden for those!), because this adorable lil kitty was gonna be euthanasia-ed at five pm yesterday and we went to save it!

It's so cute, and it's 4 months old, but really young looking and playful (like all my bitchez!) and has full vaccines and is totally house trained and Stacy is keeping her for right now but she's getting REALLY REALLY attached and me too and we need to find it a home, so if you know anyone, or are anyone, let me know and I'll love you even more than I do. Okaaaay! Bye!

(even if you can't, just enjoy how adorable she is...)

She Thinks It's Really Funny When...

2006-08-11T17:55:00.000-07:00

Kittys & Creatures & Bears, Oh My!

Sooo Jennie, You Don't Even Know!

Baby, Light My Fire!

We're Soooo NOT Amused.

Mickey Avalon, Rap Phenmenon!

So Many Less Than Threeeee!

Stacybear's Stacy Face.

Awake On My Airplane...

Too Cool 4 Everything!

I Am The Walrus

2006-08-10T18:16:00.000-07:00

Yes, those are Sparks. YES! That IS McK! Yes, you DO love it! xxooxxoo

Downtown Boogie Woogie

2006-08-08T06:13:00.000-07:00

Mondrian was one of my first favorite painters, so it's not surprise I love the sprawling grid of los angeles. I cannot imagine anything more quiet and beautiful than flying away from LAX on a crisp, clear night like this. Climbing over the ocean before dipping around to catch a sweeping view of the city - trying to trace the streets back to your neighborhood, trying to find the globe above VKC tower (go trojans!) or the Staples Center on a game night... this is not from a grand departure, but rather from another quiet place. Another time though...

Red State Latter Day Saint!

2006-08-05T10:49:00.000-07:00

Blue States Lose is the best thing to hit New York since Elizabeth Wurtzel's scorching case of vanity chlamydia [or you could insert a Nick Cage vehicle / career joke here if you're sassy!]. The premise is simple - it's kinda like tossing a twinkie in the lunch room in kindergarten and tripping the fat kid as he runs to grab it off the floor: flip through the infinite stacks of solipsistic, self-satisfied hipsters from a few select photo sites and clown dumb chicks in leotards and shit emo homo dudes with their mom's eye shadow and undescended testicles. This is pretty much what i do whenever I got out east of Highland, but the shit is actually infuriating, so maybe it's like hug therapy - like seeing that other people hating on that fucking chick in Footsies rocking the Parisian / hamburgler striped top underneath the shawl she's crocheting (needles dangling) as she bounces from table to table, offering to play Radiohead or Fiery Furnaces jams on her mini-accordian (or, ugh, a fucking Melodica!) in exchange for napkin poetry that she's going to eventually publish in her memoirs. So anyway, Blue States Lose is like the best part of my week. It's like a warm cup of cocoa for the disillusioned [me].

The Cobrasnake. Hand Van Cable TV photo #5739: We've said it before and we'll say it again: We love consistency in our hipster youth. Take this fellow, for example. Not only does he clearly agree with the right to bare arms, but he also clearly agrees with the right to bare his arms. There's so much arm baring going on in this motherfucker that the drummer from Def Leppard is waiting outside hoping to collect the runoff. Poor, shattered man.

NPR Agrees.

Do You Love It?!

2006-08-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

I hope someone does. Over fifty thousand people have looked at my photos on this page... and I hope NONE of you have read the homo-e nonsense I write for them because it's fucking boooooring!. XXXs and OoOs to all you you silly kids! I love ya!
... but not as much as I love Kristin! Seriously.

Laguna Beach Season 3 is a joke, but The Hills was given a second season, which I'm pretty excited about. Josh Schwartz said he's going to reinvent The OC in Season 4, focusing on lil Caitlin Cooper (aka Jennie Jennie!) and doing the New Class thing just like Laguna Beach, so I guess that's pretty much over anyway. I'm still drinking black vodka in wake of Marissa Coop, so I'm not completely over it, but mostly. I don't even remember Season 3 happening. Weird.

Nooooo Steeevan! She's only 25% Asian! You can fuck the other part of her!
stacy bear

post script: Dominique Swain has been hanging out here for about 45 minutes, just chillin.

She's rockin' this gauzy white sun dress. It so thin i can make out the design on her panties... I've never really liked her but I'm going bonkers over her right now! Funny thing is, when I told her that Happy Campers is like my favorite movie, she lost it! She became my fan she was so excited. It was kinda adorable... in a misguided youth kinda way.

The Slums of Beverly HILLS

2006-08-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

The Hills Season Finale tonight. Get into it!

I Killed Video! But Do I Look Good?!

2006-08-01T20:00:00.000-07:00

I've got lots and lots of awesome stories. Here's my story of the hottest fucking thing I've seen in a month.
Yesterday I was in American Apparel on Robertson, flirting with the hollywood / brentwood retail girls and hunting down the Photo Issue of VICE magazine and i decided to try on some shirts & stuff. I found a totally fetch Kelly Green california hoodie that looked pretty smart, I think, and was walking out of the dressing room with an enhanced feeling of self worth when I saw the most ridiculously fucking hot girl standing in the dressing room corridor, wearing nothing but an army green jersey invisi-thong bottom and a coked out glaze. She posed for her girl friend. "Does this make me look skinny?" "You look fucking hot!" Yes. There's something incredibly square about acting as cool as I did - like it would have been way legit to just start giggling like a schoolgirl and blowing kisses at her perfectly tanned, teardrop-shaped boobs. Whatevs. Hottest fucking thing this summer!

Que Onda MTV?! I <3 You! The best record of the 1980s came from the Hollywood Rose + The L.A. Guns (along with the best artwork, illustrated by Robert Williams), but it MTV let these punks tear shit up with Stephanie Seymour and a Steinway! Rock The Cradle Of Love is probably the most memorable music video of my childhood (thanks betsy lynn!), but I've got too many favorites to count. Homo Romantics hate on MTV for getting commercial, but it was born to The Buggles, so lay off haters! I mean Tabitha Soren wasn't exactly Anderson Cooper, but really, who is? (she did, however, win a Peabody for her 1992 Choose Or Lose series). The Real World changed television forever, and those music videos that you claim they don't play have are probably the single greatest influence on modern cinema (for better or worse), from editing and pacing, to colour and cinematography, they have changed they are the bleeding edge of [popular] motion pictures, and with them MTV has changed the way we absorb media. So on this, the 25th Anniversary of MTV, I can proudly say.... i think I kinda have a thing for Heidi! I mean, seriously, she's A - Dorable!. For those about to rock...

A Girl With Caked Up Makeup

2006-07-27T19:04:00.000-07:00

Correct me if I'm wrong, but TMZ.com is keeping AOL in business by video taping B-List celebrities walking from their cars to the clubs every night. I <3 Laguna Beach and Kristin, but Season 3 looks more like the rejects from Super Sweet Sixteen! Three cakeboys with two and a half fauxhawks, and six jawbreaker fugly girls desperately in need of at least three nose jobs! I know the original boys were assholes, but at least they had personality... and these gals aren't even on the same rollercoaster as Kristin and Lo! They make LC look like a princess for christ's sake! Ughs.

I was a camp organizer at work yesterday. Possibly the hottest thing I've heard this summer came from one of the kids' jiggly, sunkissed trophy mommy. Two moms were hanging out with me and my co-pilot, flirting like only unsatisfied married women can... we were incredibly amused because they were doing this with their kids sitting between us! One girl said, "Her grandma is here, we should leave them with her and take you boys out to lunch." I responded with a joke about lobster mac & cheese and she shot back, "Honey, cover your ears. [whispers] Come on, lets go get stoned and go to lunch!" Hottest. Thing. Ever!

Moments earlier she stated, "I was born in l.a., i didn't move here like some pathetic slut, trying to make it as an actress 'cos she doesn't even know how to pour drinks. My boobs are real and I'm thirty six and I'm proud of that!" One hundred times out of a hundred, i would take two 18-year-old girls over one mommy, but she won my heart!... She also was rocking a Missoni skirt, a Louis Vuitton bag, and the shinest braces I've ever seen.

I also love tvgasm on The Hills:

Like OMG! Did you see The Hills last night? There were like these modeling auditions for Teen Vogue, and like LC and Whitney were like totally working at them, and like all these boys in bathing suits had to come in, and like LC told Jason it would be only girls but then Jordan was like "There were boys there!" and Whitney was like "Take off your shirt" and Audrina was like "Let's go to Bella!" and Heidi was like "I love ditching" and Jason was like "There were boys, liar!" It was like total scandal! OMG! I have to tell you about it!

Soapy, Squeaky Clean

2006-07-26T17:19:00.000-07:00

Lauren Bosworth: How far are you and Stephen away from each other?
Lauren Conrad: Like, five minutes.
Lauren Bosworth: Really?
Lauren Bosworth: I think you guys are gonna get married.
Lauren Conrad: I think we're gonna be best friends.
Lauren Bosworth: That stuff happens, though, you know, like.
Lauren Conrad: I don't wanna marry Stephen.
Lauren Bosworth: Why? He's cute, you'd have pretty babies.
Jen: You would have pretty babies, your babies would be like the popular people at school.
Lauren Conrad: That's sweet.
Jen: They would.

Lo's Mom: Lo it's not a fashion show...
Lauren Bosworth: Every day's a fashion show mom.

Stephen Coletti: [to Kristin] What am I suppose to be? Happy to see you?!

Kristin Cavalleri: Jessica, he's cheating on you! Take it from someone who used to cheat on her boyfriend. Those are signs of him cheating!

A Bitch, two ways.

2006-07-25T17:06:00.000-07:00

If The World Was a Fair Place Then We'd All See Through This Rose Coloured Lens

2006-07-24T03:48:00.000-07:00

I have a three minute conversation every time i share my address:
"Yes, I'm serious, I live on Stoner Ave mom... No, I'm not kidding... No, I didn't choose it, I hate stoners... Yes, it's seriously my address..." and on. I wish it were fairydust lane. I've come home to helicopters circling my block numerous times - a common l.a. occurance - but it makes it incredibly difficult to get to work on time when your next-door neighbor, the head of the Culver City Boys gang, is splattered across the sidewalk two cars away from yours.

I've never met, nor spoken to a single person in my neighborhood with the exception of my roommate and my landlord the day i moved in two years ago. No, that's not an exaggeration. I like my block except for the school bells ringing as I'm trying to sleep and the fleet of motor homes that has been parked in front of my building for the past 7 months.

And I like listening to Bloc Party too... usually with my bff anna (who has two blocks, each much nicer than mine). She's never
actually been to my block. I have trouble with brevity.

Fuck this shit

2006-07-22T06:58:00.000-07:00

So fucking over it. blogging is fucking BORING! I'll be back soon but I haven't done anything blogworthy recently, so either give me a hint or sit tight. This used to be what i was into... weird, huh?

I've never hated Calista! I actually really liked her in BIRDCAGE and she was ahead of her time in caring for her appearence (aka not eating gross stuff, like food!)

Ally McBeal was a sin against women - it seriously single-handedly turned back the feminist movement like 2 decades when it made every chick in america a soaking moist puddle of estrogen.... fine, whatevs. I like her.

postscript - Grey's Anatomy is the new Ally McBeal. Hollis is the new Bakersfield.

Better Than The Gas Tank?

2006-07-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

So I like to light fireworks on the hood of my car! What?! Does that make you better than me?!

DO be cooler than me whenever possible

2006-07-12T08:55:00.001-07:00

My friend, co-worker, apple geek, St. Nicks companion, et al Melisssslisss (pictured like two posts below!) has become a hipster icon. First she was featured on Gawker with the fake David Cross in a meatpacking bar, and now she's officially made it, she's a VICE DO:

Oh Lord. When nerds discover their inner babe and unleash about a decade of unused libido on to the world it makes every hot girl you know seem like a haggard old spinster whose pussy is sealed shut with venereal warts. This girl would be the Fabregé Egg of blowjobs.

All true, but I've been saying it for years.

Do Something That Scares You Every Day

2006-07-10T18:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry. This is part of an email i sent to someone early this morning. It wasn't meant for everyone but feel free...

I don't like conan o'brien. I remember seeing the very first episode of Late Night with Conan O'Brien... (i was staying up until 5am, even as a lil kid). I really liked the show and watched it religiously - pretty much every night for the first five years. After that, though, he never seemed to change - he was (and still is) making the same jokes he was making the first time he stepped in front of the audience, and his arrogant self-deprecation became very tedious, so i was over him a long time ago...
However.... I'm a sucker for graduations. I am. They're my weakness (I think I've told you this before). Steve Jobs' address to Stanford last year was incredibly moving, but maybe only to geeks like me. In some bizarre coincidence, my brother's commencement speaker at George Washington University was my commencement speaker at USC the following year. It was painfully anticlimactic and she was remarkably boring - I've was told she gave the identical speech both years, though i was not conscious for my own so I'm not sure. When i was in high school and the internet was a novel concept to most people, a supposed commencement address from Kurt Vonnegut to the MIT Class of 1997 became headline news for the summer. It was known as the Sunscreen Speech and it created a certain cheeriness in a lot of people. It was a hoax (actually written by Mary Schmich as she imagined what she would say if she was approached to give an address), but a great one that reminds me of a carefree time that I really miss...

Conan addressed Stuyvesant High School this year. The first part is not very interesting - a lot of his bad, tired humor - but the second part I think is very good and so if you want, check it out here.

In addition, Mary Schmich's Kurt Vonnegut's Address (reproduced without permission).

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen
would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been
proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no
basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will
dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind.
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look
back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp
now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you
really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying
is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things
that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you
at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with
people who are reckless with yours.

Floss..

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead,
sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end,
it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with
your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at
22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most
interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them
when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children,
maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance
the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you
do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself
either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of
it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest
instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone
for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to
your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the
future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few
you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography
and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need
the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you
soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians
will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll
fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable,
politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust
fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when
either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it
will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way
of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting
over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Angel City OutCasts

2006-07-09T04:14:00.000-07:00

You can't tell, but these kids are standing on a halfpipe about 100 yards from the parking lot at dodger stadium. A russian girl said something like, "this is why i love your country." The rest responded, "America! FUCK YEAH!". Some girl tried to skateboard in her Marc by Marc which was kinda cute, like when a bunny bites you finger.

Some Art, a Tart, a Flat... That's That.

2006-07-09T02:30:00.000-07:00

What do you do once you've left the halls of Apple?

Hopefully your departure was for something bigger, brighter, or at least something that actually paid you market price. Typically, however, you realized Apple wasn't going to change, so you had to. However it happened, there's something that we all share in this life after Apple: we love the idea of a great computer and want to move it forward, somehow.

There’s a special way that Apple kills you that you don’t get everywhere. Perhaps it’s because you still love the products, or because you want the company to succeed so desperately, and for the sake of success, not for your job. Either way, you realize it’s not a shared opinion and, well … that’s it, you have to move on...

posted @ After Apple

Ink Me That Corazon Bro

2006-07-02T03:05:00.000-07:00

My step-bro is opening his new tattoo shop in Albuquerque. He threw together this website for the shop, and of course I remixed it. So the question is: do i get a cock tattooed on my fist or a fist tattooed....

The Land Before Time

2006-06-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

Every girl that cared about in high school is in this picture. Every girl that I was into and was friends with... This was the Welcome to St. Pius X luau dance the first week of our freshman year, and it was probably the last time they were all together until graduation.

And yeah, it's like that...

On an aside, Stars Are Blind by Paris is mas o menos Tide Is High (closest to the Atomic Kitten cover!). RIP Danny.

OMG, Like soooo Jealous!

2006-06-26T10:32:00.000-07:00